OK, I know that almost any porn dialogue is funny but this one has a unique anti-NASCAR twist.

Scene: A hospital room with a racecar driver on the bed (still in uniform and helmet). His wife and his doctor stand by the bed and discuss his prognosis.

Wife: I can’t believe this is happening. We just got married. Please don’t let him die. He means so much to so many people.

Doctor: I Know.

Wife: Do you really know? How much this man means to me? How important he is?

Doctor:  I Know.

Wife: He drives a car… in a circle… round and round repeatedly… over and over. People need to see that. It gives them hope and courage to get through their day. He’s a true hero.

Doctor: We have the entire medical staff working on it day and night. We won’t let him pass away.

Wife: We had so many plans… I guess all newlyweds do, though.

Doctor: Tell me about it, please.

Wife: Well, in 2002, we were planning on running 22 races. And by 2003, we were expecting to run a full Bush Series schedule. And this coming season, our goal was to be competitive in the top fifteen consistently.

Doctor: Well, never count Dale out. I mean, you remember how they dismissed him in Daytona? He came back; He always comes back.

The wife then hugs the doctor. They almost kiss. They take a guilty look a the race car driver.

Doctor: He’ll never know what hit him.

The wife and the doctor proceed to suck and fuck in front of (and eventually on top of) the race car driver. At some point the race car driver’s life support goes bad, but no one notices.

THE END