Since my state has started to crack down on driving while using a cell phone without a hands-free headset, I decided to pick one up the other day. Not only did I want something to use with my phone, but I also wanted something I could use around the house to listen to music or movies without a cord. Like any good geek, my entertainment system is computer-centric, so the headset would have to play nice with my Sony VAIO, which has Bluetooth built-in. With this in mind, the features I needed were: Bluetooth, stereo output, both cell phone and audio Bluetooth profiles, and able to connect to multiple devices. After some looking, I came up with the Motorola “MOTOROKR” S9.

The S9s are stand-alone Bluetooth headphones of the behind-the-head variety as shown below on our professional Reckless Philosophers Model. They are made from rubberized plastic and seem to be very sturdy.

Binding the headphones to both my computer and my cell phone was a straightforward process, which was a minor miracle because my cell phone, a Samsung u740, is very finicky about binding to anything – just ask the hands-free kit in my car about it. The headphones work just like virtually any other Bluetooth device; you do a special button-hold operation and put the headset into discoverable mode, then you search for the S9 with your computer or cell phone, and then you connect to it with 0000 as the passkey - Standard stuff.

Now to the real heart of the matter: performance. Music playback is loud and clear. A slight hiss can be heard at higher volumes when the music hits a quiet spot, but it is nowhere near the point of being bothersome. The audio seams very balanced and natural, and I am quite pleased with it. Charging takes about an hour, and that gets you about six hours of straight music playback.

As a cell phone headset, I can say that it also works quite well. The truly cool feature of the S9 is how well it handles the use of multiple devices. If you are listening to music from your computer (played from Windows Media Player, Winamp, etc.) and the phone rings, The S9 will pause the music and switch over to your phone. You can then press the Call button to answer the phone. After the call is terminated, The S9 switches back to your music and un-pauses your computer. Too cool. If you hit the Call button while listening to music, it also pauses the music so that you can initiate a call. Since I have voice-dial on my Samsung, this works out well.

The controls are straight-forward on the S9: on one side you have the Call button and Volume Controls, on the other side you have the Play/Pause button and the Forward / Next buttons. The Call button answers and receives calls, the Volume buttons are for volume, the Play/Pause button will pause or resume music playback on your computer or phone. The Forward and Next buttons will move to the previous or next track on your computer or phone. All very straightforward stuff and amazingly it all works as advertised.

Now here is the bad part of the review: Comfort. These are some of the most uncomfortable headphones I have ever worn. The way they are designed makes it so that the bulk of the weight hangs behind the head, with your ears as pivot points. The ear inserts anchor the weight, so you end up with a constant upward pressure on the inside of your ears. The discomfort is minimal at first but after about fifteen or twenty minutes you get agitated and have to remove them. This design also makes it impossible to go jogging with these headphones because of the suspended mass of the headset, which bobs up and down as you run. Fortunately for me, I only run when I’m chased, and no one has chased me for quite some time (except for this fat girl this one time but she couldn’t run fast anyway). This odd design also means that you can’t lean back in a chair or couch and you definitely can’t lay down with them on – a major drawback for a lazy bastard such as myself. So basically you can’t use them when you want to relax and you can’t use them when you want to exercise, so the only time they are really beneficial is… uh, I dunno. I suppose when you’re cleaning the house? Or pacing around in small circles in your living room? Oops, someone at Motorola forgot to test their own product. Big dummies.

On the techno-geek meter, this thing is a 9, but on the practicality meter, it is a 2, so I’m going to rate it a 5.5 out of 10. Maybe with some Charmin and some duct tape the gross design issues can be overcome, but until then I would be weary of buying the S9s unless you are a masochist.