Random Act of Kindness
Well I'm back in NJ. GOt back on Saturday actually. It was a rough day and I'm still recovering, between 3 hour time difference and lack of sleep I've been a little rough all weekend.
But thats nothing like what this girl I met at the airport was going through.
I met her Saturday morning at around 3 AM, I was sitting trying not to fall asleep while waiting for the Continental Kiosk to open at 4:20. She shambled in and flopped down on the seat across from me. I smiled and she returned a weary beat up smile. She asked me if I knew when we could check in and I mentioned that it would open at 4:20.
"Why the hell would they tell me to be here at 3:30 then?"
"I dunno. You'd think they know what time you could check in."
So we sit there trying not to fall asleep. Around 4:00am people start rushing up and getting in line to check in. We both looked at each other and I said "Seems a bit premature if you ask me." Nevertheless we got up and took our place in line. She promptly sat on the floor.
As we sat/stood there we chatted about her ordeal thus far. She had apparently been trying to get to New Orleans since yesterday at 10am. She started in Oregon, and got to Seattle for her connecting flight to Chicago and she waited, then it was canceled. Her bags however managed to get on a earlier flight from Oregon directly to Chicago. She was informed that she wouldn't have them for 3 or 4 days. The earliest they could get her to New Orleans was the following day. Of course they didn't pay for a room or food for her. They also didn't tell her about the other flight until almost 9:00pm. So all day she was at the airport.
She called her mom and her mother went on the alert calling friends, family and coworkers to see if there was anyone they knew in Seattle. They actually found someone who came a picked her up around 11:00pm. The Girl who picked her up was a niece of a coworker and had a few small kids that were up all night. Suffice it to say she got no sleep while there.
So she started a trip yesterday, her flight got canceled, she got rebooked for the following day, they lost her luggage, and she got no sleep. Damn.So we finally got through and up to the kiosks to check in and I checked in quickly enough. The kiosks need to either scan a bar code on your ticket or frequent flyer card, or you need to run a credit card to the machine can get your name. Her ticket had no bar code and she had no credit card. She was having no luck.
She waited for an attendant to help her and once I saw she was being taken care of competently I hoisted my bag on her shoulder grabbed my roller and told her that if I see her on the other side of security to come over and I'll buy her coffee.
So I went through security and was milling about looking for reading material for my flight when she shuffles over to me. I promptly bought her coffee and breakfast. I took pity on her and her situation and it was all I could do. She was a very pretty girl, nice figure etc, but the previous day had served to seriously beat her up. Bags under her eyes, and lids half closed, wearing the same clothes from the day before.
Over breakfast we chatted until they called her flight. She was going to meet her boyfriend in New orleans that she hadn't seen in over 3 months. They met in school, and after graduation it became a long distance kind of thing, My bet is he's going to fly from now on, after her experience I wouldn't blame her for refusing.
So that was my random act of kindness for the week. She was so grateful to have someone to chat with and buy her breakfast so she could vent. I never even caught her name.
Good luck whoever you were. I hope you got your bags.
Moral of the story:
Wherever there is a pretty girl in need of help, Reckless Philosophers are there to help. No fat chicks please.
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Nah, they don't have to be pretty. But to be honest I probably wouldn't havenoticed her if she wasn't. I may be a pig but at least I do my part.
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As a matter of social and asthetic merit, your random act of kindness was a nobel gesture. She was all alone, displaced and to some degree distressed and you came along and comforted her.
Naturally my take on this is overanalyzed, disected even. The fundimental reason people do nice things for other people is because it makes the giver feel good. There is a strange phenomenon attached to this concept. People with less money get more pleasure giving than people with lots of money unless the rich give away a huge sum. Poor people can not give as much or give as frequently, the greater a sacrifice is, the more it appeals to one's altruistic nature. Rich folks dont get the same feeling. Lets say Old McDonald the farmer has 63 million dollars, and the little old lady who lives in a shoe has $4,746.39 in her checking account. Old McDonald can give away $1000.00 1,000 times and he will still not get the same satisfactin the old lady got. Her's was the bigger sacrifice. Since the old lady has less opportunity to give, her reward of satisfaction, or social self gratification is more intense. Old McDonald has given so many times he forgot what it felt like the first time. The only joy he gets is the bragging rights at the club house.
The amount of pleasure is determined by the givers sensativity, the delta on feeling the benefit is proportional to the givers ability to make sacrifices. The more it hurts, the better it feels, could a parallel be drawn between giving and masochism?
The random act of kindness in this case gave Dissident many benefits. 1 he got to hang out with a hot chick instead of being all alone. 2. he ensured the contact would be prolonged through an offer of food, providing his resources to woo her. 3. He also got bragging rights. There are many ways one can exploit the pleasure found in giving.
Giving is a type of selfish act that encourages sacrifice for self gratification. A perfect conumdrum, two completly opposite ideals in selfishness and generousity. Being selfish is not always about money and is not always about you. A person can be giving and selfish at the same time. also, selfish is not synonomous with greedy. It is the greedy selfich that do the most damage to our economy and society as a whole.
Selfish is more like self serving, self serving is not a bad behavior as long as it is done in the spirit of altruism. In other words, as long as a person does not perform an act as a concious effort for their own self gratification, the altruisim does not become corrupted or tainted with an alterior motive. As an unconcious act performed purely with a humanitarian motive, it is the pinnacle of benevolent selfishness.
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Hey B, have you forgotten there is a girl in the RPs? Or are you suggesting that only girls are ever in need of help & if they are pretty they will get it? The damsel in distress. OK, I'll admit - I've never changed a flat tire. I learned how to, I've just never needed to. And it's never been a girl who stopped to help. But girls can rescue someone in need, too.
Scorpio - Not over analyzed (not for you) but interesting. Off the top of my head I can think of a recent time where I helped someone out. One day it was pouring and as I was getting into my car I noticed a man looking under his hood. I watched a bit, to see if he needed a jump. Let me rephrase - if he needed my jumper cables. His two little ones were in the car, he was soaking wet, and he gladly accepted my offer. It wasn't a big deal and I would like to think someone would do the same for me. But unconsciously I was doing it for me to get the warm fuzzies for helping someone out? Hm.
I don't know if any of you guys read King's Dark Tower series, but just last night I was reading King's description of how the non-human characters view humans:
Very social but only insofar as it will get them what they currently want or need.
Has our society become so busy and self-absorbed to omit daily courtesies? I still get surprised thank yous for holding doors open for the person behind me. And grateful looks when I let a car onto Rt. 9 in front of me. Almost every time I do that the car I let in also lets another car in down the road a bit. Once again, I would like to think someone would do the same for me.
OK, I'm rambling. Time for another cup of coffee. Good day, all!
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Sorry Storm, I intentionally omitted you to make it sound funnier. I think you would be more inclined to help anyone regardless of physical appearance, so you spoil the joke.
Scorpio, I suspect you are right. To me, when I give someone a hand I do it because I think it will help shape my world into something I like better, in other words, I do nice things in the hopes that it will spread and people will be nice to me when I'm in need. It's subconscious, but if I really search myself I think that is the reason.
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Scorpio - You and I are on the same page. I performed a random act of kindness not long ago (not quite like Diss'sss...it wasn't a hot chick). I think it was more self serving because I drove away thinking how nice I was for doing my good deed for the day.
While I told my friend the story of him, the imprint I wanted to leave was about ME. Never did I think, I wonder if he made out okay in the end. It was more of an "aren't I nice" kind of thing.
But I too have been the receiver of acts of kindness and conversely, when telling the event to people (if it warranted a telling), it is more about the giver and far less about me (i.e. "what a nice guy", "can you believer someone would go out of there way yatta yatta yatta"). It is a conundrum.
So I agree, the line between giving and self-serving is attached very tightly. But if two people, the giver and the receiver, can benefit from kindness, I see nothing wrong.
And Diss, I admire your character. I wouldn't care if there is an ulterior motive; you did a nice thing and made someone feel good and at the same time, made yourself feel good. Apparently chivalry is not dead. Except for fat chicks of course. Not nice B!
Good day to all!
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Wow! Lookit all the talk.
Now I thought I was clear before that the fact that she was attractive was the only reason I even noticed her. My act wasn't an act of courting, or "wooing". It was done out of sympathy for her plight.
As you guys know sometimes I've been in similair situations and someone taking time out to give me a hand or even lend an ear to complain to woulda made my day.
The notion of altruism is quaint. I hate to admit but I kind of believe in a sense of balance in the world. A karmic give and take. So in that respect perhaps I was being selfish by helping her to get karma point unconsciously. But my conscious mind said "aww, that sucks. Lemme help her out."
But I agree we mostly do get something out of being altruistic. A sense of pride over being selfless (irony), or the ability to tell other people how nice you are to elevate your own social standing.
I'm gonna stop here for now. The more I follow this line of reasoning, the less good I feel about what I did, and I question my own motives.
Was I really being self serving by helping someone else out? Isn't it possible to just be a nice guy without having to wonder if there was something darker subconsciously at work?
I give up.
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Don't fret my dear. You did a good thing. Period. Whether you wouldn't have noticed her or acted as you did if she were not attractive is irrelevant. You showed compassion, did a really nice thing, and in return felt good about yourself for doing so. What could possibly be wrong with that.
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Dissident,
Don't listen to her, you are a selfish bastard for helping that girl. What the heck were you thinking? I mean, really - you should think twice before doing anything like that again.
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Aaaaah, shut up B or I'll send a one-legged fat chick who dropped her bag of groceries your way. Then let's see how tough you are! There must be something nice beyond the bravado.
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Go ahead and send her. After I stopped laughing, I would tell her that she didn't need to eat all that food anyway and then I'd keep walking :p
Actually, I am very kind and generous - I just don't need to flaunt it like you selfish people
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I'm sure you are. I'd bet a million bucks you'd help me if I were in distress though. You're right, I'm selfish and am the first to admit it. A little cocky too.
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Nothing wrong with being a little selfish and a little cocky. I'm usually not too cocky, but I am seriously selfish sometimes. Of course I'd help you out in a jam; you are a friend, albeit an invisible one so far.
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I'd give you a description but you'd go crazy
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B, you are very giving,as are you Diss. After all you guys rescued my hat, my monkey and most importantly my beloved ring!
Snil - speaking of cocky... your comment, "Would you get on Storm's ass" was completely uncalled for and I think you know why. Guess you'll have to be curious.
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Thanks Storm - I try. I even visited my Grandmother today as my random act of kindness. Now I'm a good, selfish person too
P.S. What... oh never mind, I'm staying out of it.
"People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along?" -Rodney King
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Snil,
Storm's ass isn't mine to get on. Besides, isn't it fun to have an air of mystery about us?
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Storm-I'm sorry. I meant no offense and nothing literal. I'm dying to see you and meet your friends. But you first and foremost. It was a goof. Forgive me, please. Love you more than you know. S.
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This is too dificult. I meant no harm and your correct B., Storm's ass is her own. Shit, you guys aren't who I thought you were but at best, you stick together. Good luck.
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We are as thick as thieves. We are birds of a feather. We are cut from the same cloth. We are formed in the same mold. We are the united colors of Benneton.
Philosophers of the world, unite!
Solidarity!
P.S. We are also thick skinned so don't worry about it.
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I must apologize for my last comment. It was rather dramatic and was written out of frustrated emotion. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apologies. I like you guys and that was uncalled for. Snil
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Thanks for making me laugh B. Talk about drama!! And I loved Benneton in the 80s. Fabulously expensive sweaters that my dad would give me his credit card for.
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