Have you ever seen these signs on the highway? Probably not. Chances are you were too busy talking on your cell phone, drinking coffee, doing your taxes, fixing your hair, putting on makeup, cursing the guy behind you for tailgating, reading the newspaper, wondering why Shelly at the office always says hi to Brad but not to you, or just resting your eyes for a moment. As surprising as it seems, these signs are everywhere. They sit on the left-hand side of most highways, small, solitary, and neglected.

There are already a few statutes on the books that cover the enforcement of these signs, specifically:

39:4-215. Failure to obey signals, signs or directions. Any person who fails to obey the directions of a police officer or fails to obey the directional signals or signs provided hereunder shall be subject to a fine of not more than one hundred dollars ($100.00) or imprisonment for ten days in jail, or both. L.1950, c. 70, p. 129, s. 3.

39:4-82. Keeping to right Upon all highways of sufficient width, except upon one-way streets, the driver of a vehicle shall drive it on the right half of the roadway. He shall drive a vehicle as closely as possible to the right-hand edge or curb of the roadway, unless it is impracticable to travel on that side of the roadway, and except when overtaking and passing another vehicle subject to the provisions of sections 39:4-84 and 39:4-85 of this Title.

These laws are somewhat ambiguous when it comes to enforcing the “Keep Right Law,” which is making it difficult for New Jersey law enforcement to control the increasing number of bottlenecks happening on the highways. It seams that many New Jersey citizens are simply unaware of the simple “Keep Right Except to Pass” courtesy law, so New Jersey lawmakers have taken a step to correct the problem.

On or about March 1st, 2008, a new program is being implemented to help alleviate the congestion on New Jersey roads by closely monitoring and enforcing the Keep Right law. Police helicopters will continually patrol the roads, seeking out left-lane congestion. Once the lead slow-moving car is identified, it will be monitored for a full ten seconds (double the time for a reasonable pass to be performed). If it fails to overtake the car beside it in those ten seconds, a photo of the license plate will be taken, as well as a close-up of the driver and a panoramic view of the long line of trapped cars. These pictures will be sent to the registered owner of the vehicle along with a fine of $200.00 for a first offense and $500.00 for a second offense. A third offence will carry with it a steep $2000.00 fine and a mandatory loss of license for a minimum of six months and a maximum of two years.

It is clear by these fines that the police are quite serious about this one, so I urge all of you to please stay over to the right as much as possible. If you do need to go faster, move over to the left and do a minimum of 10 MPH faster than the car to your right. Once a clear spot to the right is reached, quickly move back over to the right. If you follow these simple practices you can avoid any hassles.

Fine Print: This is not a factual story. This story would never happen in New Jersey because it makes too much sense and actually helps the public. Rest assured, you may continue to be that annoying asshole in the left lane that simply refuses to go any faster than the traffic in the right lane. May your heart skip a beat for every car you delay.